Friday night fried rice

Don't bother searching any further for an authentic* Chinese fried rice recipe because I have one right here for you.

This is not the fried rice I made, but it looks about right. This is from xcode on Flickr.

Ingredients:

• some vegetable oil (or peanut oil or whatever oil you have in your cupboard)
• some chopped onion
• some minced garlic
• some minced ginger
• optional: some small cubes of firm tofu or even some small pieces of animal protein, if that's how you roll (pork, beef, tofu, shrimp, hot dogs, discount sausages, etc)
• some frozen veggies, like peas, corn, carrots, green beans, or small bits of broccoli 
• some leftover rice 
• This rice absolutely has to be at least a few hours old and cold if you want this to turn out right. I use leftover short grain brown rice because I use short grain brown rice for everything.
• some soy sauce
• some sugar
• an egg
• a little bit of sesame oil
• some green onion
• some hot sauce, if you like
• Back in the day, I would have had some salty chili sauce from the Chinese grocery store. Last year, it would have been Sriracha. This year, it's Gochujang, which is actually a Korean hot sauce. The flavors are more complex than Sriracha and I can't go back. Right now, I am using KimKim Korean Hot Sauce from Richmond, Virginia. Go get you some strange.
• a bottle of Moscato

• I paired this meal with Lucky Duck Moscato from Chile. It was perfect because it was super cheap and this meal isn't fancy enough to warrant breaking out the good stuff. But because this meal is salty and spicy, it's pretty hard to pair with wine. A sweet Moscato is really forgiving in general, but it was perfect with this meal: the sugar melded with the spice and there wasn't enough acid to be intrusive. It was an awesome combination of cheap eats and cheap wine. An off-dry/semi-sweet Riesling, a sweet Gewurztraminer, or a sweet Traminette would work as well. Just don't spent more than $10 on whatever you're drinking with this. 

Directions:

1. Read all these directions before you start cooking. This is super easy, I just broke it down into tiny steps in case you're scared. 
2. Pour yourself a glass of Moscato cause it's been a long day and you still have about 15 minutes before you get to sit on the couch and eat fried rice and catch up on New Girl. 
3. Heat the oil in a pan or a wok on medium heat.
4. When the oil is hot, add the onion and stir them around for a minute until they soften.
5. Add the garlic and ginger. Cook for a minute until very fragrant, but don't let it burn. If it starts to burn at this point, you'd best start over or it'll taste rank.
6. If you're adding tofu or meat, add it now, and cook it through. Any meat should be sliced thinly enough that this doesn't take much time. 
7. If you're not adding meat, just add your frozen vegetables now. Just add as much as you like. This keeps really well in the fridge for a few days, so there's no way you can have too much. 
8. When the veggies are cooked through, add the rice. Stir it around and get it all covered with the oil. Break up any clumps with your chosen cooking utensil.
9. Pour some soy sauce on it. Maybe don't be too liberal with the soy sauce. You can always add more after you've finished cooking it, but if it's too salty, it might be ruined beyond redemption. 
10. I also add some sugar at this point. Again, not too much. The sugar balances the saltiness and the spiciness (coming soon). It shouldn't actually taste sweet.
11. Mix everything around a bit so that the rice is heated through. Then form a little hole in the middle of the pile of rice, and break an egg or two into it. Or not. It's your dinner.
12. When the egg has cooked a bit, mix it around with the rice. Give it a minute to cook all the way through.
13. Now add your hot sauce of choice to taste.
14. Add some sesame oil. Again, don't be crazy. This is to add a little bit of complexity, not make it nasty.
15. Get yourself a bowl of this stuff, then toss some green onions on top. Fill up your glass again and get yourself to your Netflix. You deserve this.

*The only thing that would make this more authentic is actually adding a spoonful of MSG.